BLOG | Coleman Larkin

Soldier of Fortune Magazine Threatened to Sue McSweeney's Because of Me & I Think That's Funny

Sometimes I write stuff for McSweeney's, the venerable humor publication and bottomless pit of "Wouldn't it be hilarious if this...

Tie-Dyed BBQ Sauce Tees

Many Thanksgivings ago I partnered with retailer-to-the-stars Kentucky for Kentucky to create a first in the fields of art, fashion and...

How Do Hamburger Way 3/9th Pound and How Make Comercial for It?

I am a very respected thought leader in the advertising industry. Every day my inbox is flooded with trade journalists eager to...

KFC Gravy Tie-Dyed Tees!

I ain’t no damn dirty hippie. I’m a rascally little rat, and I like to stay clean and pretty and carry myself with the sort of...

Matt Bevin "Hotdog Head" Gear

Most governors have regular heads, but not Kentucky governor Matt Bevin. His head is long like a hotdog. That's why he's the best and has...

Possum Jockeys!

I live in Kentucky, so I probably shouldn't say this, but horses aren't that great. They have one giant toenail on the end of each leg...

"I Have Sex with Coal" Gear

I'm afraid, dear reader, that our cherished fossil-fueled way of life may vanish forever if the current trend toward Godless socialism...

Dixieland Preserves: "Chick-Infinity" Edition

Earlier this year, I partnered with Kentucky for Kentucky to make my dream of an immortal nugget of Kentucky Derby-winning horse shit a...

Derby Turds Update

Earlier this month, I partnered with Kentucky for Kentucky to bring the world "Derby Turds", 100% real manure from 1997 Kentucky Derby...

Dixieland Preserves: "Derby Turd" Edition

I’ve always got epoxy resin lying around. I’ve been using it in my artwork for almost ten years now. And I’ve put some weird stuff in it...

New Art: Main Street Church of Christ

Just wrapped up this big boy. It's a lot. Tons of layers, techniques, and materials. I sourced the historical images from an old...

New Art: Jed Clampett Made Of Toby Keith Lyrics

This one's pretty wild and several years in the making. It's not like I spent several years actually working on it, it's just made of a...

Freelance Kamikaze: Alien Erotica

You run across some supremely bizarre/insulting stuff when you're looking for freelance writing work on the Internet. People want to pay...

I Tricked TV News Into Believing A Gay Church Was Opening In An Old Magic Mart

I have a pretty low opinion of TV news people, but even I was surprised at how hard they swung at this obviously outside pitch. I had a...

Pictures of Jackie Chan for Masturbating!

GoogleFi generously gifts their customers a free 20-page photo book once a year. I'm a GoogleFi customer. Here's what I had them make for...

I Got My Local Paper To Publish A Poem That's Obviously About Diarrhea

Out of boredom and what I like to think is a righteous sense of justice, I wrote this thinly veiled folk-puke "poem" and sent it to the...